Soundcheck, one, two, three…

Sound check, one, two, three…

Is this thing still on? It better be. WordPress sent me the bill for the automatic renewal of the site! So I thought, “Well, I better use it.”

I don’t even dare check when the last post on here occurred. Yes, it’s been a WHILE. So I thought I’d get on here to make a post about what the heck I’ve been up to with my radio silence.

In the past two-three years, I have been working on and achieved my master’s degree in library and information science. My goal was to become a librarian, get work in a library, and move up in the career world in an area that suited me. I cannot tell you how many “used to write” colleagues I met! All of us seemed to be English majors with writing pursuits at some point or another. I still say “I write,” though most of my work anymore is private and personal (or doesn’t get posted on here out of time constraints).

Anyway, sounds like a solid plan, right? I even took an internship at an academic library my final semester with their reference department…which only taught me that I did NOT want to be there. It’s nothing about the department itself, but searching medical databases and interfaces (it was on a medical university campus) proved to be deeper than I imagined. It was sink or swim and I had obviously attached a weight to my ankle at some point. I couldn’t get above the overwhelming sensation that I was just too stupid to understand what the rest of the department did. I really think my final day there was celebrated: by me AND by them.

I did learn what I DIDN’T want, though, which is half of the purpose of an internship. It’s just as important to learn what you DON’T want/like.

But I cannot express how close to the edge I was…one foot over, the other on tiptoes on top of a banana peel. I was telling my friends, “I am going to go Black Swan crazy before this year is over!”

Thankfully, I did not and my fingernails are perfectly intact, no black feathers sprouting on my shoulders.

As cool as that would have been…

But I made it. I graduated from the program! No, I did not walk. I walked for my bachelor’s degree, I walked down the aisle for my wedding, y’all, I’m tired of walking. I’ve walked all I want to walk. My parents only cringed a bit until the actual day of the ceremony when we were relaxed in their living room. I said, “Think about it. Right now you’d have to be dressed up and walking all across that huge campus.” My dad nodded sagely, “Yep, you’re right. Thank you.”

Then the job hunt began…when I tell you I started months in advance, I mean I started back in December. I must have applied to at least fifty applications, refilled information on forms that could easily be found on my resume (what is the point if I have to type it out all over again?). The public libraries are especially a stickler for who they hire; if a volunteer applies, they’ll almost always get the job before an outside applicant. Despite my internship, it was obviously clear that without experience in a public library space, I was going to struggle.

And then an unexpected job offer came up, from an interview that I felt good about but then again, I had about all of the interviews I had done that were met with rejection emails and awkward phone calls.

And I am not in a library at all.

I am the new executive assistant to a VP at my university! It’s an amazing opportunity for everything I hoped for: benefits, great pay, holidays off, everything that you will never find in retail or saleswork. When they called to offer the job, I nearly cried in grateful relief. When you’re out of work, even though I had just completed a degree, you start to feel a bit useless without an everyday purpose.

So here I am, still at my university but as a fulltime employee, being the gatekeeper for my boss’ schedule and time, connecting with other departments and employees, relearning my alma mater from a new, inside perspective.

It has me questioning a lot, though; obviously an assistant position isn’t where you plan to stay forever. Will I still want to pursue librarianship? Right now, my schedule is set and busy. I have contacts to volunteer at local libraries but only so often when I have the energy. This position can help me focus on other life goals: moving into a house (I’m so sick of apartment living), having a kid, and just living life peacefully for a bit. Although this job helps me in the now, I find it funny that the future still seems murky and unreadable. I guess that’s just how it is.

(Yes, I know how cliché and obvious I sound right now).

I hope to get back to writing posts soon. You know, entertainment prose and poems, those things I used to do and thought I could make it in life as a full time writer.

How curious it is how life takes a sudden turn and you’re nowhere near where you thought you’d be.

And how you have no idea where you’re going next.

Until next post, friends. Be safe, be kind, and be yourself.

-A. Rose