“Wow, that’s so morbid.” “You’re so dark…” “Do you…do you like murderers?”
I don’t know how many other people get these reactions when talking about a few of their favorite things. If you like the things I do and really find yourself invested in them, you may have heard replies like these, too. Now, usually, I’m a firm believer of the “love what you love and don’t explain or apologize to anyone for it” concept…
But I want to try to explain this. Especially since I now understand that there are others who are like me.
It’s not secret to those who have shared a conversation with me that I am interested and invested in dark themes. For years, I have always had great and somewhat devoted interests in the “weird” and “creepy” stuff.
Enter the “I’m not like other girls” quote. Though, I will admit, I certainly used to be of that temperament. I did think my love of the “not-so-usual” topics made me a standalone, but I realize now that that doesn’t make me better. Everyone has their interests, all different from one another to some degree.
So here’s a small list of mine:
Serial killers, cold cases, unusual murders, cults, supernatural and paranormal…
Even as a kid, my favorite show was Unsolved Mysteries, which sometimes had a nice blend of all of these. Robert Stack was my babysitter some mornings, and I was always hooked onto his trench coat and unforgettable voice.
Ghost Hunters on Syfy (or however they’re spelling it nowadays), true crime shows, hell, even the evening news gives you some gritty stories that happening locally and currently.
My interests bled into horror movies. My all-time favorites are The Exorcist (a cinematic triumph), Silence of the Lambs (Helloooo, Clarice), and Beauty & the Beast.
….I mean, come on. I do have other interests. We’re just focusing on the odd ones today.
I love to read, watch, and listen to anything about these macabre themes. I currently listen to the podcast My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark, and it’s actually a relief to know that there are other people who are interested and invested in these stories, too. Like, borderline excited to learn about new murders that are every bit as gruesome as the Manson Family, Son of Sam, and Jeffrey Dahmer. Probably some moreso.
A couple of weeks ago, the husband and I were at a bar show. Outside in the heavy summer air, I was telling him in great detail the horrific account of Mary Vincent, a current artist and activist who was the victim of a depraved rapist/murderer who attempted to take her life when she was only fifteen…but only after he severed her arms from her first before abandoning her in the Nevada desert.
I look up during my awful history lesson and realize a man is staring with his mouth hanging open, eyes wide, and revulsion clearly marring his face. I instantly realize I must have been speaking louder than I meant to…but I was aghast and appalled by this case and had never heard it before. I had to tell my husband!
But still…Sorry, strange man at the bar. I didn’t mean to disturb you.
I don’t blame people for their logical responses, not really, but it makes it harder to really say why I get into all of this stuff when you’ve made it clear that you already have put me miles away from relatability.
Karen and Georgia really put it best in one of their early episodes of MFM by their conversational speak about how it’s probably a human response to living a really messed up world. Because believe it or not, crazy stuff happens every day. You think Ted Bundy was the lone Ted Bundy? No, there have been hundreds if not thousands of Ted Bundys over time. The difference, though? They never got caught and probably never will. (I can recall a couple of people I pegged for Ted Bundy-types and am happy to be far away from them now).
The point is, a lot of us investigate serial killers and murderers for the reason of understanding them. Not that a murderer’s troubled childhood or head trauma is an excuse for what they did, but it’s part of human survival to understand so we can recognize potential threats that may exist around us every day. So no, I don’t like murderers, and it’s terrible what has befallen so many people who had the unfortunate luck of encountering them and dying at their hands. I try to make it very clear that my interest in the endless numbers of cases is not in support of anyone who thinks to take another human life, but that need to understand why is a huge drive to learn everything I can about the depraved minds that have taken the world media by storm.
Do these twisted tastes filter into the rest of my life? Sometimes. For instance, my husband and I run our own ghost hunting team (Haunted Operations Team of Oklahoma, check out the Facebook page). Otherwise, it’s my entertainment. A huge channel that I follow and love is Bailey Sarian’s Murder, Mystery, and Makeup Mondays (as well as her new podcast Dark History). It’s so amazing to sit at my bathroom mirror in the mornings and apply my makeup along with her as she talks about different murders, cult stories, and mysteries that still remain unsolved. My husband has gifted me several “Suspish” shirts along with “Get Better Idols, Make Better Choices.” Her enthusiasm for telling these stories and telling them like its the latest gossip from a friend, it’s infectious and I’m here for it. (Her makeup skills are also amazing and are worth praise alone).
Currently, our apartment is part museum dedicated to unusual items: cultural knick-knacks, bones (animal and a few human sourced), decorative masks and faces (including a death mask or two) lining our stairwell, death portraits (photos from older days family members would take of their deceased right after their passing as keepsakes), taxidermied bats….
A huge prized possession: a pair of hand-whittled bone dice from the farmhouse of Ed Gein, the butcher of Plainfield. My husband bought them from an auction. Their evidence tag is marked by the head investigator from the case, Arthur Schlay, and clarifies that the bone was certainly made from human bones, probably from his graverobbing times.
Another item? A haunted doll we’ve named Lottie. She’s really something, as in definitely not like the other dolls we’ve collected from Good Wills and Salvation Army. Another post for later, if anyone is interested.
As weird as all of this is and as much as it makes me and my husband certified creeps and weirdos, it’s our life.
We are the weirdos, Misters and Misses.
I’ve told my husband that in our later years, we really need to make a shop to sell or display our oddities. And that I could also arrange to sell loose-leaf tea (a more normal passion of mine). And we shall call it:
He…didn’t find this as funny as I did, but I am fully serious about that name.
Anyway, if people want to have more posts that have to do with these darker interests, I am nothing but open to posting more about the things that I have a low-key obsession for. If not, don’t worry, you can just skim this post and whatever other weird things I write about. After all, this site is for my writing as well as what drives me as a person. It’s best for you to understand me the best that I can explain in order to really get into the creations I put out there. Have I written about these things? No, though I’m certainly working on a paranormal short I hope to create and publish here very soon. It is based on Aokigahara, the Japanese Suicide Forest. I’ll make sure to post any warnings of any disturbing content and what nature they’re related to.
Until then, thank you for reading this post.
Be careful, be safe, and I’ll write to you later!